Oakley Pub and Grill

                Located just steps off of Oakley square at 3924 Isabella Ave (and online at www.oakleypubandgrill.com), the Oakley Pub and Grill is a nice neighborhood place that has been a staple in the neighborhood for several years. This place is regularly voted into the various top burgers in the city polls. Recently their Soul Burger cracked Cincinnati Magazine’s top 10 best at number seven.

                The place is comfortable with enough TVs so that there isn’t a blind spot in the place anywhere. They utilize the space well with what appears to be enough booths and tables and chairs along the bar to seat a good sized crowd.

                This was one of those times when Josh was in school and Mark was meeting someone and so he was flying solo on this review. But that isn’t to say that Josh has never eaten here. About a year and a half ago we both ventured into OPG to check out their highly touted burgers and, on that trip, were very disappointed. There was a flavor to the meat on that trip that just didn’t sit well with either of us. In fact, for one of the very few times in his life, Josh didn’t even finish the burger.

                Hoping this time would be different Mark settled in and checked out the menu.

The Burger

                I ordered up The Burger, a half-pound of Black Angus chuck that is fresh and hand patted to order. Since OPG is one of the ever shrinking number of places that actually cooks your burger to order, I called for a medium rare number with the garden and provolone cheese.

                The burger arrived promptly and was indeed cooked to order. It was thick, juicy and actually tasted like beef. This was definitely better than the last time I had been there. The fact that the garden didn’t offer up a tomato was kind of disappointing but at least the pickle and lettuce was fresh and complimented the beef and cheese. The bun, on the other hand, was a bit much for the burger. Even weighing in at a half pound (pre-cooked) it was a bit small for the bread. And while the bun wasn’t actually stale it didn’t really taste fresh, either. Perhaps it was day old or something.

                Burgers come with steak fries and these were nothing special. They were nice and thick the steak fries are supposed to be but the flavor was lacking. Actually it was pretty much missing. I know I’m a bit of a fluke of nature but I actually enjoy eating a French fry without dipping it into ketchup. I like the flavor of a good fry with just a kiss of salt. But these offered up none and the only way I could get through them was to do the obligatory ketchup dunk.

                Unfortunately the fries and bun weren’t the only thing of question at OPG. The service was rather flat. Granted when we came in and immediately found a booth our server came over offering menus and taking drink orders. He came back shortly to take our order. But it just seemed as though he really didn’t want to be there. He didn’t screw anything up in our order but he absolutely lacked personality. It was as though he were as bland as those fries.

                Remembering back on the time Josh and I had ventured in, it seems that the server that day was rather plain as well. In fact when Josh pointed out that there was something about the burger that he just didn’t like the only thing the guy said was, “Well, not everybody likes everything.” Now that wasn’t a mean or angry reply. Rather it was just such a flavorless response that seems to reflect the attitude of the entire restaurant.

                After this trip I have to say that the burger itself was worth the trip to the Oakley Pub and Grill but nothing else would warrant not crossing the street to Arthurs to get a combination of good food, great service and a fantastic atmosphere.

The Blue Jay

                The Blue Jay is one of those great family owned neighborhood places that we just love to visit. Located at 4154 Hamilton Ave. in the heart of Northside, it is a perfect example of what restaurants use to be like before the invasion of the chains.

                At The Blue Jay you can order up breakfast 24 hours a day and, for under $6 you probably won’t have to eat again until dinner, if not the next day. The portions are large and definitely remind you of breakfast at your grandmother’s house; especially if your grandmother, like Mark’s was literally from the “holler” in southeastern Kentucky where breakfast was the largest meal of the day.

                There are other goodies on the menu here, especially very large double decker sandwiches and a host of comfort food. But it was the burgers that brought us on a day when there was a gas leak on Hamilton Ave. That odor of gas a couple blocks away was something from which we desperately wanted to escape. It made you wonder how the (literally) nine workers who were collecting overtime could stand it. Of course only one was down in the hole actually doing anything while the other eight were giving him crap.

                Inside The Blue Jay that odor became an immediate distance memory as the place literally smells of home cooking. It’s quaint and comfortable, even on a chilly day. And the noise here is perfect; people talking, the sound of orders being called out, the sizzle from the grill. This is a joint!

Burgers

                In keeping with the tradition of our blog, we both ordered basic burgers, the double cheeseburger deluxe. Nothing fancy about the name which is fitting for a place like this. We didn’t get a chance to ask but from the taste and how juicy these burgers were we guessed that the beef was brought in fresh daily, never frozen. From how the patties are each just a little different we also guessed that they are hand patted with each order.

                The buns, likewise, were fresh and tasted like Klosterman’s though once again, because the place was so busy and our waitress was running around giving great service, we didn’t get a chance to find out for sure. While the tomato, lettuce and pickle were fresh and tasty they didn’t overpower the burger. One thing that always bothers us is when a place puts so much lettuce on the burger that you have to tear some off in order to actually get to the burger. Are these places trying to hide something? Are they trying to add an extra crunch to their sandwich? Lettuce on a burger is there to compliment not turn it into a salad.

                Our fries were pretty basic restaurant crinkle cuts. Obviously the oil hadn’t been recycled too many times and probably nothing else was ever cooked in it. They were passable, even good with a crispy outside and warm, soft middle, but nothing to stand on the bench of the booth and shout from on high about how these are the most spectacular spuds you’ve ever had.

                Mark had ordered up the cole slaw (he got the fries and slaw as part of a platter for $3) and determined it was in the same category as the fries. It was pretty standard, creamy restaurant cole slaw. But that is much better than ordering slaw and finding some “special” recipe surprise. Besides, this is how you would expect the slaw to taste in a diner such as The Blue Jay.

                While parking in Northside can always be a bit of a hassle, there are a couple of lots and plenty of meters if you take the time to look. And heading to The Blue Jay is well worth taking the time. In fact, if like us, you go for a burger, you will definitely come back to enjoy breakfast.

Dena's Diner

                On a trip up toward Oxford, we stopped at a fun little strip mall restaurant that has been hailed for their burgers. Dena’s Diner is exactly what the name implies, a mom and pop type joint that serves up a bunch of comfort food.

                It really is too bad that this place is located in a strip mall because it so wants to exude the ambiance of an old style car hop diner. Still, this small, well lit restaurant has a varied menu filled with nine burger options as well as daily specials.

                We stopped in at lunch time on a Sunday and most of the tables were filled. Even being a bit crowded it didn’t take long for us to be served and to have our lunches cooked up fresh for us.

                Located at 8375 Colerain Ave. in the Grossbeck neighborhood of Colerain, Dena’s Diner is located very close to Cross County Highway so it is a convenient place to stop.

The Burgers

                We both had a Diner Burger with cheese. This and all of Dena’s burgers is made from six ounce hand patted Angus ground chuck and the freshness showed. Neither of us wanted to pay extra for the fries so we settled for a bag of chips instead, which, along with a small bowl of fruit salad, is included in the cost.

                The fruit salad was a surprise. You’re used to seeing something like that at First Watch and other such restaurants but not a neighborhood diner. The fruit was fresh and juicy and made us feel a little less guilty for having pigged out on yet another burger and not eaten anything “healthy.”

                But the burgers were healthy. They were juicy and tasty and their reputation is well won. Josh even insisted on having a picture of his burger with a bite taken out rather than our typical “before” type shot.

                It’s refreshing when a burger tastes like a burger and not frozen or over seasoned meat. These burgers tasted like their name, a diner burger. Nothing fancy, just like Dena’s, but with plenty of flavor. Add in the quaint atmosphere while ignoring the strip mall location and it’s well worth the effort to head over to the northwest side to check out Dena’s Diner.

The Mound Cafe

                The Mound Café (or Indian Mound Café if you will) is one of those old style neighborhood joints sitting in an old style neighborhood. Located at 5226 Montgomery Rd. in the heart of Norwood, at the corner of Indian-Mound Ave., this is one of those places that will make you feel right at home even if it’s the first time you’ve ever visited. On the day I visited (Josh was in school) there were only a handful of people in the place but the guy behind the bar who doubled as the server knew about half of them by their first name. In fact, one woman walked in and as he said “hi” he asked if she wanted her usual or something else. She ordered something else but didn’t have to look at the menu in order to choose.

                While the menu is mostly sandwiches and bar food staples, the smell coming from the kitchen’s flat top grill testified that many a local had eaten here before me. The place is large, with two dining rooms flanking the large bar area offering up plenty of seating. One of those dining areas features some bar room game favorites such as shuffleboard. The place is also rather bright with large windows across the west side letting in plenty of light.

The Burger

                It’s easy to choose what you want to have when you’re writing up a burger blog and the menu is this simple. I ordered up the ½ pound cheeseburger. Costing all of $4.50 this was quite a deal even when I tossed in the extra $1.50 to make it a sandwich basket; basically adding fries.

                The burger was run through the garden though I asked for no onions. And the garden was fine. The tomato was fresh and plump, adding to the natural juices that dripped into my basket from the burger. They didn’t pile in too much lettuce. I don’t understand why some restaurants insist on putting a half a head of lettuce on a burger when most people pick the excess off before eating. Also, there were plenty of pickle slices.

                Biting into the burger was delightful. The bun was soft and helped soak up some of the juices (though plenty dripped into the basket). The burger itself tasted like a burger. I’m not sure what type of meat they used but it was fresh and tasted like ground chuck.

                The fries that came as the result of my ordering a basket were crispy shoestrings. I haven't had shoestrings in a while and these were done up right. I think because shoestrings are so much thinner that they can often be overcooked. But these were done just right and in what had to be very fresh oil. Good stuff. Nothing great but good. Just like the burger.

                It wouldn’t be fair to compare this burger with The Mound Café’s neighbor just a little further north at the corner of Montgomery and Quatman. That burger is one of the all-time favorites of local burger fair having won a well-deserved reputation. Just keep in mind that Floyd Mayweather may not be a heavyweight but he still can throw a knockout punch. The same holds true for the burgers of The Mound Café. The next time you’re around Norwood, forgo the more famous burger in that neighborhood and give this one a try.

Parkette Drive-In

                The Parkette Drive-In in Lexington, KY has become something of a local landmark. Originally opened in 1957, the place was like so many other drive-ins across the country. It was a place where a family could pull their car in, order through a box and have their food delivered without ever stepping foot on the pavement.

                In 2008 a couple of brothers came along and rescued the then closed Parkette, restoring it to what one could easily believe to be its ‘50s style glamour. Since then it has gotten a reputation among the locals not only for its food but for the kitschy reflection of a bygone era.

                Located at 1230 E. New Circle Rd. in Lexington and on the web at http://theparkette.com/, the Parkette had its reputation enhanced when Guy Fieri brought his Diner’s Drive-Ins and Dives to town to feature it on the show. The show highlighted the restaurant’s Poor Boy (which is really a burger), it’s chili dog and it’s chicken, it is the Double Cheeseburger that supposedly made the original restaurant’s reputation.

Burger

                Not too long ago Mark was down in Lexington meeting with a few old college friends and decided to stop at the Parkette for lunch.

                The Parkette is everything that you would expect from a classic ‘50s era drive-in. I pulled into one of the parking spots and read the menu posted on the kiosk setting beside me. On the menu was the Double Cheeseburger and that’s what I was going to have. I pressed a button and immediately got a reply. I ordered away, adding tater tots as my side over the more conventional French fries.

                I remember as a kid going to places like this. My dad would drive us there and we would happily juggle our food as we sat in the car and ate. Frisch’s was the most popular such restaurant but there were a few others that weren’t part of a chain.    About the only place where you can get this kind of service these days outside of the retro-chic places like the Parkette is Sonic Burger.

                My food came very quickly and I indeed had to do that juggling act, balancing the basket on my lap. Sure, I was taking picture with my iPhone for this blog but the nostalgia was kind of running thin. It’s little wonder that we as a society decided to forsake the comfy, yet annoying, confines of eating in our car in exchange for standing in line and sitting in a booth.

                The burger was good. There was nothing special about it but then I imagine that when I was a kid there wasn’t much special about any of the burgers I ate at similar restaurants. There was good flavor and everything was fresh.

                It would have been nice to say that the burger at the Parkette was one of the best I’d ever had but truth be told, the nostalgia of the place is the real reason to go there. Granted my friends who live in the area and who eat there a lot say that the fried chicken is very, very good and that when you go inside it seems as though everybody knows everybody. In any case, it’s worth heading to the Parkette Drive-In if you are ever in the Lexington area, if for no other reason than to enjoy a trip back in time and experience the way “fast food” use to be.

Culver's

                Over the past several years there has been a trend to see smaller burger chains opening in areas around the country. Perhaps it is the “mythology” of In-N-Out Burger or the fact that people just see a need for a quality “fast food” burger that is far superior in quality to the traditional McDonald’s or Burger King, but for whatever reason, we’re seeing more and more of these small chains popping up.

                Enter Culver’s, a Wisconsin based chain that was founded in 1984 and has been spreading around the Midwest ever since. Currently in 19 states, there are three in the Tri-State area. To find the one closest to you, check out their web site at http://www.culvers.com/.

Burger

                Recently Mark was out of town on business and had the opportunity to check out a Culver’s.

Culver’s has what they call a Butterburger, what they call the burger that started it all. “It’s a Culver's family specialty and the burger that started it all. We use only fresh, never frozen, Midwest-raised beef, seared on a grill after you order and served on a lightly buttered, toasted bun. Add real Wisconsin cheddar and you’ll know why we wouldn’t change a thing.”

To be honest, I found this burger to be very lacking. The beef may have been seared but it was also charred. Pressed overly flat with crisp around the edge this burger was less than a McDonald’s or Burger King offering. I really didn’t taste beef. And that said, to steal from Wendy’s, “where’s the beef?” If the beef began life as two eighth pound patties then their fat content must be way too high because there was not even close to a quarter pound when it got to the table. The burger was dry and tasteless. And the fresh Wisconsin cheese wasn't even melted. It was still refrigerator cold.

The crinkle cut fries on the side did nothing to enhance the meal. Though they were properly cooked they were also rather bland and needed way more salt than a sane person should consume.

Maybe this was just a bad location, perhaps it wasn’t the best that Culver’s has to offer. I’ll grab Josh at some point in time and we can venture to one in the Tri-State and try the Butterburger and maybe it will be good, better than traditional fast food fair. In any case, I’m not ever going to head back to this location, even if I find myself in the same city. Shame on Culver’s for building up my expectations only to have them crash this badly.

Knuck N Futz

                With a name like Knuck N Futz you automatically expect a certain attitude when you amble in to eat. An obvious statement about this place is that it’s off the beaten path. Located at 6468 Taylor Mill Rd. in Taylor Mill, this is a true neighborhood restaurant that draws folks from all around. And with good reason. The atmosphere is fun and funky (from the name itself to the plastic cow hanging upside down from the ceiling) and the food has a great reputation. Mostly known for their wings which many folks on line have hailed as the best in the city, their other menu items receive raves as well.

Burger

                Another Mark solo effort now that Josh is back in school. This is a place where Josh will want to go and eat, though.

                I ordered up the quarter pound Cheezburger since I wasn’t hungry enough to tackle the half pound version. I had them top it with provolone cheese (or, I suppose it should be cheez), as well as pickle, lettuce and tomato.

                A lot of restaurants brag about the quality of their meat or the fact that they have fresh, homemade buns but none of that is being pressed on you at Knuck N Futz. Maybe they know something that the rest of us don’t. What I know is that the quality of their ingredients and the way they are prepared are excellent. No need to claim a type of super high quality beef on your menu when you can taste it with the first bite. Though I didn’t ask I could tell this meat was fresh, never frozen and the buns were delivered daily. The same with the garden. Everything was just the way you would expect it.

                Now, this wasn’t the best burger in the world. But it was pretty darn tasty. There was nothing in the way of the ultimate enjoyment of the meat; no fancy ingredients added before it is hand pressed and put on the frill. That’s the way I like them.

                On the side I had my choice of a couple of sides and chose the curly fries. I like curly fries but you know, when you order them, that you are going to get a food service frozen product. That’s ok if the fries are done well, cooked just the right amount of time in a deep fryer with clean oil. These fries were just that. So there wasn’t anything amazing about them but they complimented the burger and didn’t distract.

                Overall Knuck N Futz is a good, fun neighborhood place, even if the neighborhood seems to be more in a pasture than a city street. Still, it’s worth the drive south off of I-275 to check out this place.

Coach's Corner

                Nestled amid the trees and house of Newport’s east side sits a true neighborhood joint. Joint is the perfect word for it, too. It’s the small neighborhood place where everyone seems to know everyone by name. Mark was there solo and while he was there, he met not only the bartender/server but also the cook in back and was carrying on a friendly conversation with them by the time he cashed out.

                Coach’s Corner is at 317 E. 6^th St. in Newport. While they don’t have a dedicated web site they are on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Coaches-Corner/184645406462 where they seem to have a regular running dialog with their customers. Friendly, just like the joint itself.

                The first thing I noticed when I walked up to the place was that there was a hole in the sign. I didn’t ask how that happened but I can guess that it wasn’t brand new. Inside the place is the perfect, small neighborhood bar. In the front, by the bar, are just a couple of tables but there is a larger dining room in the rear. The place is cozy and the employees are honestly happy to be there.

The Burger

                While The Coach’s Choice is the signature burger, in keeping with the “rules” of this blog, I had what they fittingly call a Cheeseburger. I had cheddar cheese and a garden (except onion). Everything was fresh and the lean beef that is ground fresh for the restaurant by a neighborhood butcher was hand patted after I ordered. Likewise, the buns are baked by a local baker on a daily basis.

                All of this makes for a delicious combination and a burger that is well above average. It is juicy and filled with flavors that explode with every bite. In fact, it could very well rank up among the top burgers in the region.

                Helping push this place over the top were the thick cut, skin on steak fries that are made after they are ordered. That’s right, these folks know how to put together a meal and at only $3.75 (plus drink) it is insanely cheap.

                About the only downside is that the kitchen is open for lunch Monday through Friday and only serves dinner on Friday night. There is no food service on the weekend. Still, it is worth driving over to Newport during the week and enjoying the food and the atmosphere of this brilliant neighborhood joint.

915 Pub and Grill

                The 915 Pub and Grill is a true neighborhood joint. Nestled amid the houses and small businesses of Ft. Thomas at 915 N. Ft. Thomas Ave just off of Memorial Parkway, seems to fit perfectly on the quant tree lined street. You can also find this establishment on line at http://www.915pubandgrill.com/.

                They feature a wide range of pub grub from which to choose including appetizers, wings, pizza, sandwiches and, of course, the reason for the visit, burgers. Their menu says that all of their burgers are over a half pound of choice Black Angus chuck on a toasted Kaiser roll with a fresh garden. For that reason and the reviews on line we decided to put it on our list.

                When Mark had a lunch meeting with a colleague based near Ft. Thomas, he suggested the two of them meet at the 915. Josh was in school and would have to miss this one. He didn’t miss anything special.

The Burger

                I ordered up what they call simply The Burger. I added a half dollars’ worth of Wisconsin cheddar cheese and began conducting business. Since there were only about six of us in the place at the time our food came out quickly and was prepared to my specifications.

                The problem was that the burger was basically pretty pedestrian. It wasn’t bad but there was nothing about it to make me want to jump up and shout for joy. Or even consider jumping in the car and driving back to Ft. Thomas for another go round.

                Yes the ingredients were fresh but if the meat was choice Black Angus chuck it sure didn’t taste like it. And the burger itself may have been over a half pound prior to cooking, it was well under by the time it came off the grill. My guess is that while the meat was Black Angus it had too much fat content that cooked off during grilling. Hardly what I would define as choice.

                Along with the burger came equally pedestrian fries. They were well cooked, crisp on the outside and tender on the inside but tasted like so many other restaurant fries. Why can’t restaurants try to give their fries a little something extra? Sure, not everyone is going to take the time or go to the expense of using fresh potatoes to make their fries. But how difficult is it to try to spice things up a little bit? Not everyone wants to douse their potatoes in ketchup.

                There is a really nice atmosphere at the 915 and I could see that after work or on the weekends this place is filled with neighborhood folks who are eating, drinking and having a good time. But since I’m not a local I probably won’t be going back there any time soon.

                Perhaps I just got a bad burger and others that come from the kitchen are of a higher standard. The reviews and reputation of the place would point to that. So maybe you should hop in your car and head to Ft. Thomas and check out the 915 Pub and Grill for yourself.

Van Zandt Restaurant and Tavern

                It’s just too bad that Van Zandt Restaurant and Tavern is on the other side of the city from where we live. With no real direct way to get there (there’s no direct way to get anywhere from Anderson Township except maybe Newtown) it means that when we set off to check it out for the blog we had a pretty healthy drive ahead of us. But we were multi-tasking, checking out a car show for that blog (http://turnerbudds-carblog.blogspot.com/) so we weren’t dreading the drive.

                The restaurant which opened in 2009 is located at 1818 W. Galbraith Rd. in North College Hill (and on the web at http://www.vanzandttavern.com/). Don’t think it’s too far off the beaten track because it is just a short drive off of Ronald Regan Highway. And well worth the drive.

The Burgers

                Last year Van Zandt’s burger was ranked number five on the Cincinnati Magazine list of top burgers in the city. This year they were voted number one. That had just come out shortly before we made our way there and obviously they were quite proud of this ranking.

                The burgers are made with ground sirloin which is ground fresh daily at a butcher just down the street from the restaurant. They are offered up in two sizes, the regular eight ounce option and, for the hungry or adventurous, a full 16 ounce one pound monster. Once you chose your size, then you add toppings a la carte. With each option ranging in cost from fifty cents to a dollar, this can easily escalate the cost of your sandwich. The buns come are near perfect and should be since they are baked daily on site.

                Josh chose The Pounder, the 16 ounce option and added American cheese, lettuce and tomato. Mark showed just what a wimp he really is by ordering the eight ounce VZ Classic Burger. He topped his off with Provolone, lettuce and tomato.

                Cooked to order, the burgers came out quickly and were juicy and delicious. While we both agreed that this was a burger worth checking out and will add it near the top of our burger list, it probably isn’t the best. But it’s really damn close. This burger is so close that we both agreed that we would have to make another trip back when a couple of our all-time favorites are fresher on our palette.

                About the only disappointment was the fact that the French fries didn’t live up to the quality of the burger. They were good, perfectly cooked but seem to be fairly typical food service quality fries. Most people don’t choose a restaurant for the quality of the fries rather than the quality of the burger, so don’t let that impede you from heading over the North College Hill to enjoy one of the tastiest burgers in the Tri-State area.

Salem Gardens

                Salem Gardens is one of those places that, when you walk in, you feel as though you could be traveling through time back to when people would gather at the local diner to do more than just eat. Those kinds of places allowed folks to get together and talk, catch up with old friends and meet new ones. There’s a reason Salem Gardens gives off this vibe, they’ve been doing just this since 1926.

                Located at 6396 Salem Rd, at the corner of Beacon, and on the web at http://salemgardens.org/, the place has a reputation for serving fresh, quality food in a family atmosphere. We’ve been going to Salem Garden for years, though more sporadically than some other area places. Still, it came up in the rotation of our list and while Josh wasn’t able to go, he had been there enough times to safely state his opinion.

The Burger

                In keeping with the stated premise of this blog, I ordered up an All-American which features a full half pound of ground beef that is ground up daily and delivered fresh. Likewise, the honey and egg bakery bun that it sits on is baked exclusively for the restaurant on a daily basis. The lettuce, tomato and pickle on the burger were equally as fresh. Being the All-American it naturally comes with American cheese but you can substitute Colby, Swiss or pepper jack if that’s more to your taste. I kept it traditional.

                Freshness is the key here. You can tell that the ingredients are all fresh. The beef is juicy and flavorful and doesn’t get overpowered by the garden or any condiments. That garden tasted pretty vine ripe. Considering that our tomato plants in our back yard have been turning out some very fresh fruit this summer and early fall, I from whence I speak.

                The meal comes with crinkle cut French fries and Cole slaw. It’s just a shame that the fries don’t live up to the burger. They are pretty standard and obviously come from the same food distributor that serves dozens of restaurants around the city. Not to say that they are bad, just no different than any of those other establishments. The same can be said for the slaw, which, though, I found rather tasty. Not homemade but good enough.

                On the whole Salem Gardens is a great place to come with friends or family. The ambiance is very fun and family friendly. While their burger isn’t my favorite from around the area but it is near the top and worth a trip to the east side to give it a try.

Shortneck's Bar and Grill

                A few weeks ago I was down in Newport without Josh who was probably out with his friends doing something far more fun than hang with his old man. But that gave me the opportunity to check out a place I’d heard about but at which I’d never eaten, Shortneck’s Bar and Grill.

                Presenting themselves as a neighborhood sports bar, complete with enough high def televisions to wall paper your average home, Shortneck’s is also a great little local joint where the whole family could come and enjoy a good meal while watching the latest game. It seems that every local bar and grill puts up TVs and calls themselves a sports bar and usually people decide on which one to visit based on their own personal criteria. If I lived anywhere near their 830 Monmouth St. location (http://shortnecks.com/ on the web), I’d call this place home.

                The atmosphere is cozy and this place actually feels like your favorite neighborhood joint even if it’s the first time you’ve walked through the door. And it also, always helps a place like this, in my humble opinion, if you can actually see the kitchen and watch your food being prepared. With a kitchen without walls, this is such a place.

Burger

                In keeping with the stated mission of this blog, I ordered up the basic Shortneck burger with cheese. What I got was a delicious third pound of Angus beef that was picked up that morning, never frozen, directly from Newport’s Ebert’s Meats. This is how every burger should be, fresh with locally made quality ingredients.

                The bun was a little too large for the burger which I always find curious. It makes the burger look smaller than it really is. The bun was fresh and added just a hint of underlying flavor. Likewise, the pickle, lettuce and tomato were also fresh and each offered up their notes with each bite.

                I was given the choice between fries or chips and opted for the chips, a thicker cut, almost Saratoga style chip. They were lightly salted and with just enough crunch. Nothing spectacular but they were a good alternative to your typical French fry side dish.

                I have to admit that Shortneck’s was a pleasant surprise. Not that I wasn’t expecting it to be good but it sailed well above my expectations and has made me want to go back and try some of the other items on the sandwich style menu. As I wrote earlier, if I lived near there, this could easily become my favorite neighborhood joint.

Cheeseburger in Paradise

                Mark is a Jimmy Buffet fan from way back. Even before Buffet became the star he is today, Mark had copies of his early LPs and had seen him in concert. Right before “Come Monday” hit the charts, Mark was one of a handful of people in the crowd at a small concert. Jimmy asked from the stage, “Where do people go and have a beer in this town.” Mark offered up the name of his favorite local college bar.

                Later, after the show, Mark was sitting at that bar having a beer when in would walk, of all people, Jimmy Buffet. The two sat, talked, had a few beers (ok, maybe more than a few) and the next thing Mark knew Buffet was getting super famous and selling out venues.

                Move ahead a few years and Mark and some friends showed up to an outdoor concert at Kings Island amusement park outside of Cincinnati wearing the most outrageous flowered “island” shirts anyone had ever seen. Mark had found his, literally, handmade, in a Russian thrift store in Los Angeles. He still has it though it must have shrunk because it no longer fits.

                He and his friends were part of only about 20 or so fans dressed in outrageous clothes.

                The next year when Buffet played the same venue, the crowd was filled with crazy fans wearing their best “island” gear. Legend has it that bassist Timothy B. Schmidt dubbed that crowd “parrot heads” that night.

               In 2002 Buffet licensed the name of his famous song “Cheeseburger in Paradise” to OSI Restaurant Partners who opened a Buffet themed restaurant and turned it into a chain. Now there are about 40 restaurants in 16 states.

      The one here is located at 812 Eastgate North Dr. and you can find them on line at http://www.cheeseburgerinparadise.com/Default.aspx. They offer up more than just cheeseburgers but we came to see if their burgers really did send us to paradise.

Burgers

                We both ordered the traditional Beach Burger, which is made just like in the song. Both of us passed on the onion.

                The burgers are one third pound, made to order patties of 100 percent ground chuck. They are thick and juicy but ours arrived at the table a little cold, like they had been sitting around waiting to be delivered for a few minutes. That did a great deal to down grade the quality of the meal.

                While sitting around the burger’s juices soaked through the bun a little and made for a more than necessary soggy bottom. And trust us, we both hate it when our bottoms get soggy.

                There’s nothing wrong with a burger that is so juicy that the bun slides around or even starts to disintegrate. But that’s only if the juices are good and piping hot from a burger that’s just off the grill. Not one that has been sitting around five minutes or more cooling off.

                We both could imagine that a nice, hot burger, delivered on time, would have been good. This wouldn’t have been a great burger, nowhere near the top of our favorites list, but it would have been more than respectable, especially for a chain restaurant. But this burger was nowhere near paradise.

                The same problem existed with the fries. They were cool and a big soggy from sitting around too long. There was nothing spectacular about the fries in any case. They appeared to be just ok to begin with and being cool didn’t help. Again, maybe if they were hot we might have taken the restaurant up on their standing offer of “endless” fries with the burger. But in this case, neither of us even finished our original order.

                When we got our food and found it was cool, we seriously looked around the place to determine if it was because the restaurant was too full or the place was understaffed. Neither seemed to be the case. Perhaps ours just happened to be the unlucky order that didn’t get served on time or maybe everyone was suffering the same problem. We didn’t know. But the lack of decent service really did make us regret going there.

                Perhaps sometime this winter when the weather outside is terrible we’ll go back to Cheeseburger in Paradise and give them another try. In the meantime, there are far better burgers to be eaten in this capital of parrot heads.

Hot Doggin' It

                A place named Hot Doggin’ It usually doesn’t come to mind when thinking about burgers. But this establishment, tucked away in a strip mall at 12082 B Montgomery Rd. near Loveland, has a reputation for making not only the closest thing you can find to a Chicago hot dog in this region, but also some fine burgers as well.

                Hot Doggin’ It was started by two Chicago ex-patriots who use to work in the corporate world but decided that their dream was to open and operate a true Chicago hot dog stand. Ava and David Baldwin write on their web site, “Having grown up on the south side of Chicago and later moving to Glenview, a northern suburb or Chicago, I know how a Chicago Hot Dog should be made along with the many other menu items familiar to Chicago’s discriminating taste. That’s where the passion comes in to play. We are a family owned and operated business looking forward to bringing you the best of Chicago’s Vienna Beef products.”

                If you’re not familiar with a Chicago dog, or a Chicago Italian beef sandwich for that matter, you owe it to yourself to check these guys out. Margaret McGurth, a good friend of mine, who hails from Chicago and knows all about traditional Windy City food, has told us this is the closest she’s ever found to a true Chicago hot dog. And that’s Mark’s experience as well. Check them out on the web at http://hotdogginit.com/.

Burgers

                But this isn’t a hot dog blog. This is a burger blog. And so we ventured there to try if their grilled burgers are as good as the dogs.

                We each ordered up a Char-burger with cheese. The one third pound ground beef patties were hand made when we ordered from fresh ground beef. These are not some frozen chain burgers but honest to goodness fresh daily tasty beef that is grilled to order.

                A really delightful part of any small restaurant is being able to hear and smell the sizzle as your burger is being cooked. The small, Chicago themed restaurant allows for this.

                The burgers were perfectly done and had perfectly melted cheese, fresh lettuce, tomato and other condiments. The sesame seed bun was firm enough not to fall apart as the juices flowed from the burger but not so firm to fight you as you bite into this delicious sandwich.

                Beef and condiment flavors lead the way to your taste buds. There doesn’t appear to be any type of exotic seasonings going on with this burger, just honest all-American ground beef. One slight drawback is the fact that this place is still fairly new and the grill probably hasn’t been used enough to be properly seasoned. If this place is still open in 10 years, and hopefully it is, the grill should kiss each burger with the experience of thousands of burgers.

                Between the two of us we asked for one order of fries. That is something to keep in mind. The orders of fries are very large and unless you are a French fry eating machine, one person can’t possibly finish them. In fact, with the size and quality of the burgers, we didn’t even finish the single order we had. The fries are fairly pedestrian. Nothing special. But they were perfectly done with a crispy outside and soft, flavorful middle. Try one without ketchup, that’s always the best way to tell.

                We both highly recommend Hot Doggin’ It for their burgers. We have vowed to go back and review their Chicago dogs even though this is supposed to be a burger blog. Hey, it’s our blog and we can do what we want. Besides, it gives us a valid excuse to head back to Loveland and chow down on some great Chicago style food.

Toot's

                We had been running around Mark’s old stomping grounds out near Loveland and were actually looking for another restaurant that had unfortunately closed before we could sample its wares. So we decided to stop at Toot’s. It was there and we were hungry.

                Neither of us knew much about Toot’s except that it is a small chain of family style restaurants with five locations, three in Tennessee, one in Bowling Green, KY, and one at 12191 Montgomery Rd. in Loveland.

                The Saturday lunch hour when we arrived was pretty quiet with just a few customers. The décor and menu is typical of this style of restaurant. Pick any Friday’s or Applebee’s and you can find much of the same type of items hanging on the wall and grub on the menu.

Burgers

                We both got the Classic Half Pound Burger that the menu claimed was “America’s # 1 sandwich choice.” Not they weren’t claiming that their burger was America’s number one, just that the cheeseburger is the sandwich of choice. Clever wording to make it appear that they’re burger is seen as the best. More on that in a bit.

                Josh opted for the American cheese along with lettuce and tomato. Mark went with the provolone with lettuce, tomato and pickle. The burgers came out and they were big. Quite big. A half-pound patty is going to be big. What it shouldn’t be is overcooked. We know that a lot of restaurants have begun taking away a diner’s choice of how their meat is prepared. Probably from a fear of someone getting sick and then suing.

                What we had was charred well done on a flat top grill with bits of crust rimming the edges. Now since the patty was large it had to be a decent cut. Ground chuck may have shrunk up more than that so our guess was that it was at least ground sirloin. Either that or the fat content was so low (90-10?) that there wasn’t any shrinkage. Of course with low fat content come low flavor and these burgers really didn’t have much flavor.

                For both of us, the cheese and trimmings provided the biggest flavor burst when biting into the burger. The meat may as well have not been there for all the good it did to America’s number one sandwich choice.

                Along with the burgers came curly fries that were the highlight of the meal. Lightly seasoned with a Cajun salt, these tasty little curls of potato way outweighed the sandwich.

                We had good, prompt, friendly service and it is easy to see how the atmosphere of this place could be fun with the right crowd. Unfortunately, neither of us ever plan on going back to see if that’s true.

Zip's Cafe

                If you like a good burger and haven’t ever been to Zip’s Café, what’s wrong with you? Regularly voted on as one, if not the, best burgers in the area, Zips has a long standing tradition of being a funky little neighborhood joint that serves up great food, with friendly service, a cool décor, and, oh yeah, a model train tooting around near the rafters.

                Zip’s has been a landmark in Mt. Lookout since 1926. That’s over 80 years of serving up food to the locals and any other hungry patron who happens along.

                The place is small and cramped and loud and often, no matter what time of the day you stop in, there is a line out the door. But none of that matters. Those of us who have been there many times before know that any little inconvenience is worth it.

                When Josh was learning how to drive, Mark made a deal with him to map out the way to some of the best burger joints in town and then drive there for lunch. Josh got his hours in as a driver, navigating various road challenges and both of them enjoyed some great burgers. Zips was one of the first places chosen for this.

                Located at 1036 Delta Ave. in the middle of Mt. Lookout (and on the web at http://zipscafe.com/), driving here is always a bit of a challenge, especially for a 15-year-old learning how to drive. But even the narrow lanes, the crazy square and fun, adventurous parking couldn’t hamper a hungry Josh that first time or any time since.

Burgers

                While we have both had the Double Zip Burger in the past, this time neither of us felt as though we needed a lunch that could easily fill two people so we settled for the classic Zips Burger. Like all the burgers, that starts with a fresh, never frozen, hand patted quarter pound of beef delivered daily from Bleh-Avril & Sons. It is flame grilled to perfection and served on a fresh honey egg Klosterman’s Bakery bun. Josh got his with American, lettuce and tomato, Mark got his the same but added pickle.

                It’s always a treat biting into that Zips Burger. The softness of the bun with just the right bit of flavor followed by lettuce, tomato and any other garden and condiments, all crispy and juicy in all the right places. But it is that beef that is really the star of this show. You can taste the flavor of the flame and just how fresh and juicy the beef is. It’s like pulling it off the grill in your own back yard.

                So much has been written about Zips Burgers, all of their burgers (and their specialty burgers such as the Girth Burger that’s topped with a split grilled Mettwurst or a Train Wreck that’s topped with shaved ham) that it would be redundant to rave about them here. But it’s hard not to.

                These are as fresh and tasty as any burger either of us has ever had. There are only a handful of burgers that we would put in this same category. It simply is that good.  Add the perfectly fried French fries and you have a great meal any time of the day.

And the prices aren’t bad either. Even the Food Network show Cheap Eats has featured Zip’s Café in a segment. Add to that all of the local publications who regularly name it one of the best burgers in the area and it’s easy to see why it’s always crowded at Zip’s. Well, maybe some folks are there to check out the crazy décor. Yes, look closely, that is the model train in the picture. The cans of beer are just cargo.

                So even though you may wait in line and then get put at a table with a group of folks you’ve never met before, it’s worth it to take a drive to Mt. Lookout for a famous Zips Burger.

The Gas Light Cafe

                The Gas Light Café is a neighborhood joint, the kind of place we just love to visit. Mark had gone to the Gas Light on and off for years but hadn’t been in a while. For Josh, it was his first time. His reaction is it won’t be the last.

                This is one of those old school kind of places where, when you walk in, you expect half the people to already know each other and the other half just saying hi to you. We went on a Saturday and were absolutely delighted to find the special that day: double cheeseburger and fries. This is exactly what we would have ordered anyway. Not that burgers are the only items on the menu. Everyone can find a sandwich to their liking.

                Located at 6140 Montgomery Rd. in Pleasant Ridge, the Gas Light is one of those neighborhood establishments that everyone knows about. It has been around for a while and wears its years with pride throughout the décor. Along with the numerous signs, the dart boards, the games and the televisions always showing a game or two, this place is perfect with tables, booths and, of course, stools at the bar.

                With one of the consistently highest rated burgers in town, the Gas Light needs to be a on everyone’s to-do list.

Burgers

                Seeing the double cheeseburger special we both immediately knew what we wanted. Josh ordered his with lettuce and tomato and, of course, the standard tartar sauce. He added some mustard and ketchup. Mark got his with lettuce, pickle and tartar sauce. They don’t bother with offering choices in cheese. Not in a place like this. You get American but who cares.

                We both loved the burgers. Mark had forgotten the bit of seasoning that they used in their fresh ground beef. Josh pointed out that it was just enough, that it didn’t over power the flavor of the beef. A regular here is a quarter pound patty, so the double filled us both up with a half-pound of delicious, perfectly grilled (on the flat top) burger.

                The burgers were juicy and the right sized bun (what is it with places using buns that are too freakin’ big these days?) kind of slid around and started disappearing while we ate. Mark pointed out that at one point he was afraid of setting down his burger because it would fall apart. Josh replied, “Why would you want to set it down?” That sums up the flavor of a Gas Light burger.

                The crinkle cut fries were done just right, crisp on the outside and light in the middle. Not bad for frozen fries.

                Overall this is one of those places that it’s probably a good thing we don’t live closer to since we would be there all the time. Even though it is a 20-30 minute drive, it’s well worth it. Check out the Gas Light Café and enjoy one of the best burgers you can find.

Froggy Bottom Pub

                Don’t go looking for the Froggy Bottom Pub, no matter how much we enjoyed the burgers. You won’t find it. That is unless you happen to be in Washington, DC.

                We were up in DC where Josh was checking out colleges. Between the standard admissions office introduction and tour and our meeting with a professor from the history department, we stumbled across this little pub on the edge of the George Washington University Campus (thank you Urban Spoon).

                Opened in 1985, Froggy Bottom Pub is pretty much your typical college joint with staples such as burgers, pizza, chicken sandwiches, salads, and plenty of bar food. Located at 2142 Pennsylvania Ave. in the heart of the Foggy Bottom neighborhood of DC and on the web at http://www.froggybottompub.com/, this neighborhood bar has everything a college student would want in a favorite joint, including pool and foosball as well as plenty of room spread out over three levels.

Burgers

                We both ordered up a Bottom Cheeseburger, Josh’s with American and Mark’s with cheddar. Both were cooked to order and though it took a while to get to the table since it was the lunch hour, it arrived nice and hot and juicy.

                The lettuce and tomato were good, nothing special, and the bun was a bit oversized for the amount of meat it was holding. Not that the patty was small. It looked like a solid third pound piece of meat and tasted as though it had never been frozen.

                The fries were light, with a crispy exterior and a melt in your mouth interior. And the pickle spears (Josh didn’t eat his so Mark had them both) tasted like good deli dill slices I’ve had at some joints in New York.

                Even though it was crowded and our food took a bit to get out of the kitchen, it was well worth the wait and we made our appointment with the professor in plenty of time. If you’re ever up in DC, head about five blocks west of the White House and stop into the Froggy Bottom Pub. It’s well worth it. Who knows, in the fall of 2012 you may see Josh hanging out there.

Quaker Steak and Lube

              We don’t usually do chain restaurants but when we do they are chosen with care. Quaker Steak and Lube is a small chain of over 40 restaurants in mostly in Pennsylvania and Ohio but there are now locations in New York, Colorado, Florida and a host of other states.. We ate at the one in Milford because it was playing host to the 2^nd Annual Shriner’s Car and Bike show, something we report on for our other blog.

              Quaker Steak and Lube was founded in 1974 with the idea of keeping alive car culture, particularly muscle cars. The one in Milford is decked out to showcase this theme, complete with cars and lots of gas station décor.

    This Quaker Steak can be found at 590 Chamber Dr. in Milford and on-line at http://www.quakersteakandlube.com/.

Burgers

           Though Quaker Steak and Lube is perhaps best known for their wings, we both had the All-American Cheeseburger which, like all of their burgers, is a half-pound of 100% USDA steakburger. Josh ordered up American cheese and Mark’s had provolone. Both of us ordered up fries.

                The burgers were tender and flavorful and actually cooked to order, something that doesn’t always happen in chain restaurants. The burgers were also a bit juicy which seemed to give the garlic bun a bit of trouble because both of us got to the point where we couldn’t really set the burger down without it falling apart.

                While the lettuce was good and fresh, both tomatoes were a little under ripe causing them to not really have a whole lot of flavor. We both thought we might have been better off just putting ketchup on the burgers.

                It would be nice to say this is the best chain burger out there but it isn’t. Not that it’s bad. We both felt this burger beats a lot of its competition like Buddy Rich beating a drum. Still, there are a few better choices out there. In fact, this Quaker Steak is located very near a Red Robin which probably doesn’t help its burger showcasing abilities.

                Still, the combination of décor, the car and gas station theme and the quality of the service do go a long way in helping us recommend this restaurant. If all Quaker Steak and Lubes are the same quality as this one, then it is worth making a pit stop for some grub and to check out the cars.

Bertie and Huck's

                Bertie and Huck’s Restaurant looks exactly like what it is, a neighborhood place like grandma would run. With a quaint décor and attentive servers, you get the feeling that heading to 15 E. Foster-Mainville Rd., in Mainville, OH could easily be a regular drive. And it is a drive, unless you live near Mainville or Loveland or one of the other burgs in that part of the state.

Burger

                For this one I went alone since Josh had other plans (that included some girls but hey, he’s a high school kid so why not). The menu boasts a number of down home cooking kind of items, the kind of comfort food that you think of when you think of when grandma comes to mind.

I ordered up a double cheeseburger that, as promised, was hand patted from fresh ground chuck. I wasn’t given a choice on how it was to be cooked but when it arrived at the table, with melted American cheese, crispy lettuce, ripe tomato, a dill pickle spear and a generous helping of potato chips, the burger wasn’t charred the way many restaurants seem to think we should all eat them these days. Rather it was more on the medium side and each bite provided me with all the expected flavors.

                While the bun was rather mundane, seeming as though it came from the local grocery store rather than a bakery, it was the only thing about the burger itself that wasn’t very good. The pickle spear was kind of bland and the chips tasted like Lay’s. They definitely weren’t homemade, that’s for sure.

                One of the only other tables in the restaurant when I was there had their order all screwed up. Two of the four got the wrong sandwich but both went ahead and ate it rather than wait for the proper meal to be fixed. They then were treated to some homemade desert that they were still raving about when I left. Overall, it was worth the drive and warrants a recommendation to come back another time.